I was that weird girlfriend that told my husband on the fourth date that we were going to get married. The one thing that we took pride in was that we continued to date each other after we got married. Over the last twelve years, we have had so many giant holes that we have had to dig ourselves out of. I mean really REALLY big hard horrible issues that have needed counseling and mentorship. We would have never thought that the hardest part of our marriage would be trying to balance marriage with a child.
Our marriage became like a moving company that comes to pack up your items when you sell your house. We just started packing up our problems and sorting them. If the box was really heavy, we would move it together and rely on each other to help support the weight of it. After our son was born in 2017, the weight became to heavy to hold.
In January 2018, we found out that our son had Periodic Fever Syndrome. We were devastated. We stopped dating each other. All of our focus went into trying to stop our son’s fevers no mater the cost. Around the 10th fever is when we realized our marriage was paying the price.
We had no choice but to surrender it all to God. Every box that we were faced with, we chose to just set them at the foot of the cross. We realized that we were facing something that we had no control over.
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will not let the righteous be shaken. -Psalm 55:22
Thankfulness and grace replaced the sadness and anger in our hearts. We started dating each other again. We don’t go out as much as we would like, but our marriage is still and always will be a work in progress. Since we have made the choice to let Jesus carry our problems, our hearts are lighter.
Our son just had his 17th fever this past week. God sustains us- and we continue to fight.
Marriage is a fight. Don’t stop fighting for your spouse. Religious or not, kids or not- don’t stop fighting.
This is the tightrope that I walk.
What tightrope do you walk?