Acrobats train religiously before attempting to practice their routine without a net. The rope never stays perfectly still. It moves and bends. Sometimes they make it across, while other times they fall and have to attempt the trick over again. The tightrope represents your life as a mother; constantly moving and changing. You, as the acrobat, attempt to balance your life just to make it across. You work all day and come home only to be greeted by the reality that is motherhood. You barely get a moment to yourself. Especially, if you are a stay at home mom. You look at your life and feel like you aren’t balancing, but just surviving.
Both Michelle and her husband work outside of the home. During the day their son stays with his grandparents. The weekends are reserved for making new memories and enjoying life as a family of three.
As soon as Michelle stepped out on that tightrope, it was moving. When she found out she was pregnant it was a complete surprise. When they went into their first ultrasound appointment, the doctor was unable to find a heartbeat. Michelle had suffered a missed miscarriage. A year later, she found out she was pregnant again but refused to let herself get excited because of her past miscarriage. Unfortunately, she suffered a second miscarriage.
She was starting to feel like she was never going to experience motherhood. Three months later she was pregnant again. Fear and anxiety plagued her thoughts. After she got through her first trimester she was able to breathe a little bit, but never truly allowed herself to enjoy her pregnancy until she was able to feel her baby kick.
[[Going through a miscarriage is an extremely emotional and devastating experience. Each woman has their own way of processing it. Our society seems to have a taboo notion when it comes to discussing miscarriages. If you know someone who is currently going through the emotional aftermath of having a miscarriage- make yourself available if she needs you. If you are reading this and currently experiencing this type of loss- you are not alone. Your feelings are valid. Reach out to someone if you need to.]]
Her rainbow baby was born in 2018.
Now that her world has settled down, she is figuring out mom life. She is thankful she is a working mom because it gives her an outlet to have time for herself. She has days where she misses simple things like going to the bathroom alone without finding little fingers peeking underneath the door. But she wouldn’t trade those moments for anything.
With all that Michelle has gone through, she feels extremely lucky and grateful for her miracle rainbow baby.
This is the tightrope that Michelle walks.
What tightrope do you walk?